Pharma bro Martin Shkreli is going to prison

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by Rachel Kaser ' in Money

Martin Shkreli was today sentenced to seven years in prison by a federal judge, meaning we've hopefully seen the last of his puckered piehole for a while.

Shkreli became internet Public Enemy No. 1 when he jacked up the price of lifesaving HIV medication Daraprim from $13 to $750 overnight. Literal schoolchildren were recreating the drug and calling him out for his avarice. People paid thousands for the chance to punch him in the face.

But, like Al Capone before him, this douche was not felled by the dastardly deeds everyone hates him before. Instead, Shkreli was convicted last August for securities fraud and conspiracy to commit securities fraud.

According to VICE reporter Allie Conti, Shkreli wept at the hearing and blamed himself for his actions, saying There's no conspiracy to take down Martin Shkreli. I took down Martin Shkreli with my disgraceful actions. Contrition is good, but so is not referring to yourself in the third person, Martin.

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